


I'm A Mess.

by Ada_P_Rix (orphan_account)



Series: All My Sins... [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Oral Sex, Sex, Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:00:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Ada_P_Rix
Summary: THIS SERIES IS ON INDEFINATE HIATUS AND IS UNLIKELY TO BE FINISHED - APOLOGIES FOR ANY OFFENCE CAUSED.COMPLETE:Part Two in the 'All my Sins' series.(Part One is 'Bloodstream'.)Draco needs another hit.His relationship with Astoria is feeling volatile and his obsession with Hermione is darkening.But it's Hermione who seeks him out, this time...**New tumblr account: Ada-P-Rix
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Series: All My Sins... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774669
Comments: 63
Kudos: 345





	1. Motions

* * *

  
**“I messed up this time,**   
**Late last night.**   
**Drinking to suppress devotion,**   
**With fingers intertwined.”**   
**\- Ed Sheeran ‘I’m a mess.’**

* * *

  
He was fucked up. 

Astoria saw it. She saw the desperation in him and the physical change. She saw the struggle and the way he tried to hide it all behind a mask of nonchalance. 

He loved her in his own way. They were comfortable in their own way with each other. He made her laugh and she made him scream in frustration at times. They were the best parts of each other, somehow. They had the rest of their lives to work out how to become something more than what they were now... they would work it out eventually.

But ... there was a _fire_ ... he’d stoked it and now it was raging.

The elements weren’t the same as what he had with Astoria. They were everything a healthy relationship shouldn’t have; Fear, anger, craving, selfishness... possession.

It burned brighter. It consumed him. 

_She was fire._

Just the thought of her intoxicated his body, suffocated him. His lungs struggled for oxygen and his mind struggled to hold onto rational thoughts as images of her swam through his brain. Nerve endings set alight at the memory of her warm skin and her eyes ... those eyes. 

It was always those eyes.

_Always had been._

He’d tried to tell her as much, the last time they had met. The truth serum had worked its way through his veins, and she had asked him all of the right questions. But she would never really know the true, dark and disturbing depths of it all.

Hermione Granger would never know the extent of his obsession with her, spanning over many years. All beginning as he had admitted to, with that fucking Yule Ball. The dress and the hair ... he fucking loved her hair like that. The way she floated around like a cloud that night and laughed and smiled ... she’d caught him in her trap then. 

Deflection had always been the aim of his game; be an arsehole and she would never know. Be a complete cunt to her and her little mates and she would never guess that he went to bed at night gasping her name silently as he made himself come into his hand. 

He wanted to own her. He wanted to taint her mind with him and leave his mark on her in a way that no other man would. He wanted her to close her eyes and only see him; possessing her mind as well as her body... do to her exactly what she had done to him. 

Even at the Manor, seeing her there writhing around in pain on the floor ... he wanted to help her for his own selfish needs. Help her, and then maybe she would let him fuck her, eventually. Touch her, at least ... 

Because he wasn’t supposed to want this, was he? He wasn’t supposed to want to torture her in all of the delicious ways that he wanted to. She was supposed to be inferior ... her blood was supposed to be inferior. 

Except that it wasn’t. 

  
Blood was blood. Hers still worked in the same way that his did. Flowed the same way ... _burned_ _the same_.

It was a dark obsession that swallowed him in a cloud of smoke. It was a painful obsession that created image after image of her writhing beneath him, wanton to his hands and his body and his cock ... it was a dangerous obsession.

He was broken.

And now, the obsession grew potent.

Naturally, Astoria had asked him about that night.

He’d lied. Skipped over the details and gave her the assurance that she needed ... the deception she was probably used to by now when it came to him revealing his feelings... he never was one to share. He couldn’t help it though, the lies always came out. The lies protected her and their strange, coasting relationship. 

It was destructive. The psychological path he was travelling down would end up tearing his life apart. But he kept going ... couldn’t stop. He couldn’t keep himself from thinking and imagining and wanting and praying. 

_Another hit._

He needed another hit... needed to feel those chemicals burn him from the inside out and consume him. Making the voices call him to do it again. 

_One more ...._

_Just. One. More._

* * *

It had been weeks.

He saw her by the Ministry lifts. 

She smiled at a portly Wizard standing next to her, waiting for the doors to open. Draco noted the way her hair flowed from side to side as she shook her head in animated conversation. Wondered whether she thought about it ... whether she let it get to her like it got to him. 

_He hoped it burned her .._.

She would never know the half of it. All of the waiting and the aching, churning around inside the pit of his stomach. The bile that spewed from his lips due to the viciously carnal thoughts whirling through him for years. Wanting her in all of the worst possible fucking ways.

He stood by the statue watching her walk into the lift. Those formal robes swirling around her as she turned. The conversation was deep and the features of her face were animated and passionate. Always passionate ... and compassionate and helpful and caring and everything fucking else that should have made her repel him. 

It drew him only closer. His own personal, gravitational pull ... 

She looked up; a flicker of a second. 

Her eyes with his. Direct contact. 

_Dangerous_. 

_Inferno_. 

And there it was. He was still there ... still swirling around in her bloodstream.

* * *

He had to enthral himself in work or she would enthral his mind.

_Breakdown. Recreate. Breakdown. Recreate._

_Over and over._

_Make it better. Make it stronger. Make it unbreakable._

_Make the chemicals react..._

_Always make them react..._

It’s all about the chemicals.

* * *

  
She bumped into him in the Atrium of the Ministry on a Thursday evening at home time. He felt it was on purpose as he never saw her on his way out at that time. Purpose ... she had purpose. 

Her eyes were large and her mouth was talking to him. Her lips were moving, her tongue flicked out to lick her bottom lip every now and again. 

She never bit it, though.

She was careful. 

She knew the rules. 

“-I need to know.” She finished, searching his eyes for any sign of an answer. She frowned at him when she didn’t find it. 

“Sorry Granger, I wasn’t listening.” 

She folded her arms across her chest and set him with a glare. He sounded impartial. He sounded like he wanted to be anywhere but there with her. 

_Good_. 

She deserved that. 

She deserved his distance and his spite. Not once had she approached him since the last time that they had left each other burning. Not once had she made any other contact besides a few stolen glances in the lifts of the atrium. 

Unspoken and unfeeling. 

He wasn’t chasing. He’d made the first move and put it all out on the table for them. He’d done the dancing and bared himself to her. The past and the present; they all rolled into one because they were all her. It was her turn now; if she wanted it, she had to come for him. 

He heard her sigh. 

He needed to concentrate.  
Constantly getting wrapped up in his own thoughts. He swam in them, treading the waters. 

“Just meet me in The Leaky Cauldron at nine tomorrow evening.” 

He said nothing. 

Nodded. 

She gave him a curious look before she walked away, almost as if she hadn’t quite believed that he had heard her. 

He had, though. 

And he knew. 

She needed it like he did. 

* * *

  
“You never said you were going out?”

“Do I need to tell you everything?”

“You used to ...” 

He didn’t reply. He didn’t need to. 

He closed the door on his way out. Closed it off and shut it down ... he would think about everything later. 

Now; there was only _her_. 

* * *

She was drinking wine. The crimson stained her lips slightly and he couldn’t help but admire it. It made her plump, full lips look inviting.

She would study him every now and again from under hooded eyes, before going back to her drink and pretending she didn’t want to be here, with him. As if she was doing all of this against her better judgement.

And she was. He was. They were. 

But neither seemed able to stop it. 

This was it now. Whatever this was between them, they’d exposed it and all of its bitter, angry nastiness and now it was going to envelope them both. Draco didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, but he knew he wouldn’t stop this until he found out. 

He heard her sigh, like she was admitting defeat. Draco drank down his Fire whiskey and waited. 

She would come for him. She would be the one, this time. 

“I’ve tried not to think about this.’ She told him finally in a quiet voice, her eyes on the table.

_Look at me ..._

“I’ve tried to forget about it and put it behind me and think practically about it.” Her curls fell into her face as she shook her head, battling with herself. 

_Fucking look at me ..._

“But-“ and she looked up.

And it was all he needed to see. 

“-I think I –“ she stammered, the look in his eyes reflecting the hunger and the obsession that she held in her own. She had wanted this, wanted him. She still did. “-I can’t stop.” 

Draco stared at those full lips again. “Can’t stop what, love?” he asked her as he cocked his head to the side. 

Her hands twisted around her wine glass, but she kept her eyes on his. Eating him up, swallowing him whole. She devoured him, and he would let her. This was Hermione Granger; star of his most sordid, forbidden fantasies... quite frankly, she could do whatever she fucking liked.

She pinched her lips together, clearly trying to find the right words and one hand went to her ear to place a curl behind it. “Thinking about... _it_.” Her lips were moist from where she had licked them nervously, her admission had not been easy for her. 

He gave her a smirk. He couldn’t help himself, with the thought of knowing that she was as affected by him as he was by her. It made the blood rush through his veins at an exhilarating speed. And he knew that if he wanted it, then he needed to act quickly ... before she had time to think. 

_Seduce her mind... that’s where the good stuff is._

“Have you thought about _me_ , Granger? Did you think about me while you were trying not to think about _it_?” he asked in a voice low enough to be a growl as he drummed his fingers along the pub table quietly. He saw her blush, trying to avert her eyes. “Don’t look away, granger ... look at me.” 

She did. 

And she bit that lip and _fuck_ ... the things he wanted to fucking to do to her ... she had no idea how the image of her performing that little act had played out in his little fantasies over the years. The image of her biting her lip with her head thrown back while he was between her legs had got him off so many times ... _fuck_. 

“A few times," she told him timidly. 

She was a fucking liar, he knew. He could tell by the way her skin flushed at the question that she'd thought of nothing but him and his hands and his words ... they were all over her. Her subconscious was craving him, and it was coming out through her skin.

"Have -" she started, blushing further. "-Have you thought about me?" 

He sucked in a breath. _Oh love, if only you fucking knew ..._

“Dangerous territory that, love ...” he whispered and knocked back the rest of his drink, savouring the burn. “I don’t think you want to know how much I’ve imagined your tight little arse straddling my cock over the past few weeks ...” 

He saw her eyes go large. _Good_. He wanted her to listen .... to be consumed by his words. 

“How many times I’ve saw you at work and imagined hiking your legs up around my thighs in those lifts and pounding you into the wall until you’re coming hard around me ... screaming my name and throwing your head back? Your eyes rolling into the back of your head.” 

She was holding her breath, she had to be. His words were all over her and he could see the colour rise in her cheeks again as he spoke. 

She needed this. He needed to make her feel this. Needed to make her see this the same way that he did. He needed this to posess her in the most depraved way, for her to even realise the torture he had put himself through for her, for years.

She suddenly drained her glass and then stood, looking down at him. Still chewing on that fucking lip ... she was going to be the fucking death of him. 

“Ron’s away on business.’ She told him finally, clear resolve on her face. “He won’t be home for two weeks.’ 

Draco felt himself growing feral. 

Again, the look in her eyes had said it all for him. 

It was an offer.

Two weeks... they had two weeks. 

She needed the hit. 

* * *


	2. Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't fluffy stuff, kids ... this is posessive.  
> You've been warned ;-)  
> X

**“See the flames inside my eyes,**  
**It burns so bright I wanna feel your love.**  
**No, easy baby, maybe I’m a liar,**  
**But for tonight I wanna fall in love.”**  
**\- Ed Sheeran ‘I’m a mess.’**

* * *

  
Her flat was small. Small and minimal. 

The only thing that stood out to him was the large bookcase that took up one whole wall of her living room. It figured ... bloody bookworm. 

He saw pictures scattered about on window ledges and walls ... memories of her with her friends and her Fiancé. Living a life that had nothing to do with him. Nothing about him fit into her world, just as nothing about her fit into his. 

“Nice place you’ve got, Granger ...” he drawled as he took off his black duster coat and placed it over the arm of a rather old fashioned looking armchair. 

He heard her rattling around in the next room, which he assumed was the kitchen. He walked through and the glare of the bright ceiling lights had him squinting. She had her back to him, handling cutlery with a dish cloth like she had been cleaning up. Busying herself. Putting something off.

She was nervous. 

Draco cocked his head to the side and leant against the kitchen counter, arms folded over his chest. He took her in; the shape of her arse in that pencil skirt. She had a good pair of pins, too. He remembered those pair of legs being wide open for him last time – the thought made him rock hard and he shifted himself in his pants. 

“Granger ...” he started, needing to distract himself. “You brought me here for a reason ... I’d hate to think you’re going to leave me hanging ...” 

She turned finally, her long, golden-brown curls flowing behind her as she twirled. He saw all manner of emotions behind her cinnamon eyes. The same emotions that he had been grappling with for years... and the guilt. 

The guilt is what was eating her up the most, a bit like him. The thought of facing their other halves, looking them in the eyes and lying. It was a risk; it was a massive gamble and it was dirty and it was messy. 

She had to prepare herself for that, or she would crumble. Draco had long since discovered his mask to cover up his crimes. He wore it and Astoria knew no difference, never seeing the way his eyes would pity her every now and then. 

“I don’t know if I can-“ started, looking sullen. Draco’s face hardened instantly. No, absolutely no chance was he getting this far for her conscience to kick in.

_Don’t let her think ... never let her think._

If he let her think then she was going to talk herself out of this, and then he was never going to be able to have her again. 

Is that manipulation? Is that control?

Whatever the fuck it was, he would do it if it meant he was between her thighs again. He was a selfish, masochistic bastard ... and he didn’t care; he’d been burning for too long. 

Now it was time to bring her into the flames with him. She wanted it just as much as he did, she just had to catch up to his level of need ... Draco had been letting this simmer away for years, accepting it. Granger’s emotions and primal feelings for this were coming at her all at once.

 _Take control_ ...

Draco moved towards her quickly, not giving her that precious time to think and grabbed the back of her head harshly. His lips met hers in a ferocious heartbeat, her mouth opening under the pressure of his own and their tongues came out to play with each other. 

She moaned into his mouth and he didn’t give her time to think as his hands reached down to her arse and squeezed it roughly, before unzipping her skirt from the back and then pulling it down, along with her knickers until they came down to her thighs. 

Taking full control of the situation, Draco sat her now naked arse on the edge of the island countertop in the middle of the little kitchen. He slid her skirt and knickers off the rest of the way until they landed on a puddle on the floor and he kicked them aside before unbuckling his own pants and undoing the buttons to pull them down, but only enough to pull out his cock. 

_Don’t let her think ... just let her feel ..._

She made a glutteral moan when she peered down to see him already hard for her. Yes... that’s it ... those responses would definitely do.

Draco stroked the length of himself several times while she watched, seemingly itching to reach forward and do it for him. He smirked and spread her legs apart, stepping between them and hooked her right thigh in the crook of his left elbow, his right hand still stroking himself. 

He could see the heat in her eyes and he leaned in to kiss her collarbone and the junction between her neck and shoulder. The moans vibrating from her were just delicious. She was warm and almost wet and waiting ... he knew she had been thinking about this just as much as he had.

“Oh ... please... god ....” she was fucking loving this. Loving what he was doing to her. Her body seemed starved for the attention that he wanted to lavish her with. She deserved to be thoroughly fucked. Over and over until she cried with exhaustion.

He brought his head back until he was staring at the slit between her legs, spreading her lips open with his fingers. Her heart was racing and her breath hitched. He knew she could feel the heat and pressure building, moisture beginning to slicken her passage. He was fucking dying to taste her ... feel how hot and wet he had made her. He knew that wouldn’t be necessary tonight, however. 

They both needed the release too badly.

He stepped in closer, spreading her thighs obscenely wide now, her bare bottom on the edge of the counter. She leaned back on her hands and watched as Draco placed the head of his penis against her. There was no place for the type of real foreplay he wanted to give her tonight ... he didn’t have the time or patience. He wanted to end both of their suffering, before taking him sweet time with her. 

There would be plenty of time for that, later.  
He could make her crave him ... later. He had time.

She sucked in a breath, “I’m not sure I’m wet enough just yet.” She breathed out, shuddering against him. 

He knew what she was hinting at, and her apprehension was for naught as he didn’t enter her, but instead started slapping her open centre with his cock gently, sliding it along her folds and making them both groan.

“Oh, God.” She purred.

The sight of her moaning and arching was too much for him, combined with all the blood pumping through him and his level of need. Every nerve ending was alive with want, he could only imagine how Granger was feeling.

She bit her lip with her head thrown back and he almost entered her and fucked her into the kitchen top right there. She was fucking glorious ... playing out all of his dirty little fucking fantasies. She dropped to her elbows, looking at the ceiling. 

“No.” He told her sternly, and she moved her gaze back to his. “You’ll watch.” She blinked at him and murmured an agreement before he clarified; “Eyes here, Granger,” and indicated to where their bodies were about to be connected. 

Draco slid his penis up and down, along her spread lips as he coated himself in her wetness. She could only nod as she picked her elbows off the counter and returned to resting her upper body on her hands, the angle perfect for watching. 

_Good girl ... you’re learning ..._

With her full attention now where he wanted it, Draco grabbed himself and guided the head of his penis to her wet, waiting opening. He stuck the tip in, bare, nothing between them. He knew she could feel his gaze move from where his cock was resting, just inside of her and then to her face. She looked up and nodded in some sort of burning acceptance, before returning her attention back to his cock.

Draco slid inside of her, one slow inch at a time. He slid most of the way out then slammed back inside of her and she gave a whimper. Not from pain, but from pure pleasure, and Draco loved watching her, increasing her hedonistic enjoyment.

He slipped his right arm under her left knee so now she was splayed open with both legs dangling over his arms, bouncing as he thrust into her. It was so fucking good. So, so good. He felt her wanting to drop her head back in defeat to the pleasure but Draco was insistent, reminding her every time she looked away. 

“You’ll watch, Granger...” he said with a growl as he slammed back into her, making her moan and shake. “Watch my cock slide in and out of you.”

He was alternating between watching their joining bodies and watching her. “I love those noises you make. I think I could come from nothing more than the sound of your voice when I’m fucking you,” Draco moaned above the slapping of their skin and the incoherent noises she was making. “When you get close, I want you to say my name....” he rasped out between thrusts into her tight heat. “ I think I would come early every time, listening to you, knowing you’re close. Knowing I did that to you.” 

“Oh god – Malfoy....” she was breathless and so ready. “... you do ...always do – fuck.”

“I’m going to come inside of you, Granger.” He thrust hard and fast, yanking her thigh up, changing the angle slightly. “I’m going to come in you so hard my come will be leaking out of you for the rest of the day.”

Listening to him describe it while pistoning in and out of her body must have pushed her over the edge and she came, her walls clenching around him as her orgasm was so intense it almost looked like it hurt when he thrust back in to her.

“Shit – oh my god – Malfoy I’m coming-“ she spluttered and rocked into him, shuddering as the feelings had clearly taken over her.

“ _Draco_...” her eyes squeezed shut as she clenched him. 

He stilled then for a moment, hearing her name roll of his lips. Buried inside her balls deep, he let the feeling of her pussy clench him tightly in the middle of her orgasm, and threw himself over the edge with her.

“Fuuuuck, Granger .... shit...” He moaned, shooting his load inside if her upon his own release. He felt himself filling her up.

He’d always fantasised about doing that with her. No barriers, no protection spells... just him and her and his seed inside of her. It felt raw and animalistic and dangerous ... he definitely got off on it.

  
It felt so intimate. Well, sex was always intimate, but this was different. It felt like a compliment, if bodily fluids could be described in that way. The fact that she had let him do that to her ... it must have shown on some level how deep their need for each other actually was.

He leaned forward until their lips touched and then she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer while they kissed. He pulled away as he slid out of her. Draco still had both of her legs spread open, hooked over his elbows, and he made no move to drop them, instead he focused on watching his come leak out of her.

“Fuck, that is... _fuck_.”

He thought she would be embarrassed, but he was so mesmerised by it that it just seemed to turn her on more and she let him look. He finally released one of her legs, only to stick two fingers into her, coating them with his release and then moving them to her clit.

“No, no, I can’t,” she protested in a breathy moan. 

He knew she could possibly make her come again, even though she was till pulsating from the last one. 

“You can.” He told her determinedly with a wicked grin as he dropped her other leg now to unsnap her bra and he bent his head, taking a nipple in his mouth and worked her with his fingers below.

Of course, he proved himself right, working another orgasm out of her before they were through.

  
_I bet Weasley has never got her to do that .._

  
He fucked her four more times that night. Each of them hard, fast and wanting. Each time Ganger came around his cock, he felt himself losing his grip on his own reality just that little bit more.

* * *

He wasn’t expecting her to be up when he managed to tear himself away from Granger’s body. He was already missing the heat of her.

Astoria’s eyes never left him as she watched him walk through the living room and stoke the fire absentmindedly, he could feel her eyes boring into his back. 

“After-work drinks seemed to go on for longer than usual, Draco...” he heard her say from the armchair she was sitting in with a book in her lap. “It must have been a good night.” Her tone was deadpan and unfeeling.

“Yeah. It wasn’t bad.”

He kept his back to her.

There was nothing more left to say.

* * *

He looked at himself in the Bathroom mirror.

He was an utterly fucking depraved piece of shit ... he didn’t deserve good things in life. He was a fucking sinner, bound to burn in the flames of hell the day that he died. 

And she was going to hell with him. 

This was the first time he had seen her since Friday. Weekends seemed to be the best times for them to see each other, due to work commitments. 

Today was Sunday. He had to see her today as he spent all of Saturday doing nothing but think about her and how much he wanted to fuck her again. His blood was fucking craving her like nothing else. She was haunting him.

He really needed to fuck her.

Like, really fuck her. Rattle her bones and leave her for fucking dead. He’d done that four times on Friday night and he couldn’t fucking get enough. She was like a fucking drug in his bloodstream and he was addicted to her. He needed her. 

She’d asked him to take her slow on Friday... almost begged him at one point. He still hadn’t. He had so much pent up fucking aggression and spite and desire coursing through him that every time he touched her, he fell between the gaps of wanting to kill her and wanting to protect her ... it was intoxicating. 

She’d noticed, of course. Pulled her hair to one side earlier this evening after a particularly rough session and showed him the bruises on her neck. Pulled her pyjama bottoms to the floor and pointed at the bruising on her thighs and hip bones. 

It made him fuck her even harder, that time. Her teeth chattered as he pounded into her, her soft body below him on the couch and her whimpers in his ear ... begging him to go harder, like she needed to mix the pleasure and the pain too. It was like punishment for the filthy things they were doing.

He saw her now in the mirror as she padded into her little bathroom, squeezing in behind him. Both still completely naked from their second round, not fifteen minutes ago. Her body was ... something else. 

All soft curves, ins and outs in all the right places. A long, elegant neck that he enjoyed kissing and her breasts were firm and more than a handful ... perfect. Curly, golden-brown hair that framed her face to perfection and set off those eyes so well ... he could drown in those eyes. Hermione Granger was perfection. 

But he couldn’t have her like he wanted to. If he did, then she would know the level of his depraved feelings for her. They would consume her like they did with him. She wouldn’t be able to handle it. If he kept it rough and wanting then it would stop himself from falling further. 

She gave him a small smile through the mirror and leaned forward to nip him on his neck before replacing her teeth with her tongue playfully. 

Draco wasn’t in the mood for playful.

He turned skilfully without knocking her over and grabbed her forearms roughly. He looked at her lips as she bit her bottom one and he knew she saw the flash of danger in his eyes before he bent his head and ravished her mouth with his. 

It was painful and bruising and hard. There was biting and sucking and clashing. It was raw and untethered and he pulled at her hair to get her closer ... so close. He poured so many spiteful emotions into that kiss. So many years of want and need and utter deprivation. He wanted her to feel how she had made him feel for years 

She bit his lip hard and purposeful, making him hiss against her as she pushed him back from her with her arms. He looked down at her, panting and thoroughly fucking turned on by the roughness of their kiss

“You kiss me with so much venom, it’s like you fucking despise me!” she told him with brazen contempt in her voice. “It’s like you hate me so much that you’re trying to suffocate me with your tongue...” 

He glowered at her. “If I did this any other way then we’d end up calling this more than fucking, Granger.” He told her in a very low and serious voice. 

And he was right, and she knew it. If they treated this as anything more than tearing at each other, then this would all pan out differently. If his feelings were allowed to surface then he would likely end up burning in her flames, and she would be none the wiser. 

She looked at him for a minute, letting his words sink it. “Stop treating me like you’re using me.” She answered him defiantly. “Just treat me like-“ she stopped herself, eyes down and trying to find the right words. 

Draco’s skin was already crawling ... yearning to touch her and kiss away her doubts about this situation. He’d let her think ... he really needed to stop her doing that. 

“-Just treat me like you want me.” She finished; her tone softer. 

And he decided he would. After this, he would give her some room to breathe and when he came back another time, he would do what he had promised her before all of this had started; he would take his time with her.

But not now. Right now, was not the time to be taken.

“I will ...” he told her with a small grin on his face. “Next time.”

He went for her, and when he reached her, he plunged his tongue into her mouth. She moaned at the taste of him. There was no teasing quality or gentleness to his kiss. He wanted to make it passionate, possessive, and raw. Tell her how he felt through body language.

He pulled her lips into his mouth and sucked them with a fervency that made him feel as if he was drowning in a vortex of pure pleasure. With his naked body against her, he locked his hand around her waist and pulled her tight against him, not even being able to bear even an inch of space between them. 

She clung to his neck and seemed to savour the assault of his tongue as she sucked wildly on it. He deepened the kiss, tightening his hold around her until her toes were lifted off the floor and she was no longer standing on solid ground.

He was insatiable. Their wild kiss continued. Completely unguarded and ruthless in its chase of the desperate need to be one with the other beyond even what was physically possible. He felt as though he was drinking up all that she was, her essence, her thoughts, her ideas, her emotions, her feelings, her pain, her sweetness, her beauty, her horror, and in that moment, he felt as if he was her and she was him.

He felt as if he was breathing through her mouth. Her limbs became so tangled, so tightly pressed together, he didn’t know where he stopped and she began. All he did was feel: the soft, possessive caress of her hands as they roamed down his back. 

He grabbed her arse, digging into her as he pressed her urgently into his groin. Her hands moved from his neck, her nails raking his back as she moved her hands down to squeeze his arse in return. He put her back down on the floor, but before she could brace herself, his hand had reached down and tightly cupped around her sex. 

Draco entered two fingers into her and her pussy seemed to receive him with feverish excitement. To her shock, it seemed, he lifted his palm up and suddenly her feet left the floor. She whimpered at his brute strength, but there was no pause for recovery. A sweet fire appeared to start blazing through her as he held her body pinned against the bathroom wall, her legs wrapping around his waist and he plunged his fingers in and out of her, furiously, while his thumb played with her clit. 

“Malfoy...” she cried. He hooked one hand around her knee to pull her leg up all the way to his chest for better access. She writhed and jerked in response, losing all the control she seemed to have up until that point.

Her entire body was tensed and rippling with pleasure. He could tell she was so close to the edge when he pulled his fingers out of her. She jumped in what seemed like panic but a second later, he was on his knees, her leg over his shoulder and his tongue digging into her.

“Fuck! _Draco_...” She shouted, the scream caught in her throat as her body shuddered and exploded and she came all over his tongue.

He lapped up the juices shooting out of her, feeling triumphant to have made her come again so soon. He sucked feverishly on the delicate folds of her sex, and held onto her hips as she jerked violently in the aftermath. 

When he had licked her clean, he rose to his feet, she collapsed on him, out of breath and incoherent. He kissed her then and made her taste herself on him.

“Is this the kiss you wanted?” he asked harshly, in retaliation to her earlier statement. She threw her arms around him, refusing to let go. “I don’t want you to kiss anyone else,” He said forcefully, feeling out of control with need and his thoughts. “I fucking hate the thought of any part of your body touching anyone else ... it knocks me fucking sick.”

The words shamed him, but her couldn’t take them back or pretend he hadn’t said them. They were the truth. He pulled away to gaze into her eyes and saw her watching him intently. She could never know the depths of depravity he had gone through for just the thought of her.

“You know it’s not possible, for me or for you.” She told him quietly, her breath still coming in short pants. 

He gave her a small smirk. “Sorry, love ...it’s because you’re toxic to me.”

“Toxic?” she raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes. “You need to work on your post-sex pillow talk, Malfoy.” 

I looked into her eyes; she obviously misunderstood his meaning. “You’re toxic the way Magic Weed is. You come into my life and you take over, until there is nothing else but your body, your smell, your mouth, your taste, your sweet cunt, your voice, your silly ideas about me and who I am, the childish games you play with my head. I can’t say no to you. The more I try to walk away, the more I want you. I can’t get you out of my mind, Granger. Do you understand now?”

Did she? Did she understand? Did she fully comprehend the intensity of all if this? Of how much he burned for her? 

He saw her eyes register his words, letting them wash over her. She knew he was fucked. Fucked up in the head over her. Letting himself open his box of feelings and letting them encompass them both. She was going to burn like he was, he would make sure of it.

“If I told you I understood you perfectly ... what would you do?” she whispered, staring at him with curious eyes.

He didn’t give her an inch.

Draco backed her up against the wall again, bringing her thighs up around his hips in the bathroom, their bodies slick with the heat from the shower that they hadn’t taken yet, and the air swirling with the scent of their joining as he slid into her forcefully. He couldn’t stop kissing her again and again, needing to prove his level of feeling for her through the movements of his body. He needed her to feel how much he wanted her. He whirled her around and with her palms pressed against the wet tiles, he slammed into her harshly from behind.

She sobbed while he panted with the fiery intensity of his lust. “Fuck! Fucking hell Granger, you’re fucking killing me ...” he cursed.

The sounds of his wild curses seemed to make her blood quicken with delight. There was no doubt that he was driving her just as crazy as she was him, and the sensation of power consumed him. 

The new position drove him so deep inside of her, deeper than he’d ever been, and the walls of her pussy milked him ravenously, extracting every ounce of pleasure from him. 

“ _Draco_ – I’m coming – oh god, please-“ she whimpered against the wall as her pussy clenched his cock tightly as she came.

“Fuck me, _Hermione_ -“ He growled loudly, the sound echoing off the Bathroom walls as her name tumbled from his lips.

When he exploded inside of her, her whole body froze with the sheer force of his release. It occurred to him that they had not used protection again, they hadn’t during any of this, but instead of being dismayed, the thought of his hot seed spurting deep into her made new ripples of pleasure crash through his body. 

His cry was animalistic, a growl, like a mating call. Barely able to catch his breath, he felt her grab his arse as her hands reached behind her and pulled him towards her. Further inside.

It took quite a while for them to return to some semblance of normality, and when they did, he tried to pull out of her, but she held on tight.

“I don’t think I can walk on my own,” she whispered. His soft chuckle close to her ear must have made her tremble, as he felt Goosebumps on her neck from where his lips were peppering kisses. Slipping his hands under her knees and neck, he carried her out of the bathroom towards the bedroom. He settled her on the bed and stood over her.

“We should have showered.” He said with a small smile. And he was right, as they were a sticky delicious mess of sex, and sweat, but there was no other state that he would have preferred in the whole world right now.

“We’re not done,” she said to him, looking exhausted from that explosive climax, but still wanting to give back to him just as he had to her. “I want to take you in my mouth,” she said, “and drive you mad.” 

The smirk was wiped off his face as his eyes started to burn again. “You’ll be the fucking death of me, Granger.” he groaned as he bent his head and captured her mouth in an all-encompassing kiss. And it began all over again.

Next time.

Next time would be the time to slow it down.  


* * *


	3. Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday people!  
> Two updates in one day ... you're welcome :-)  
> X

* * *

**“And oh,**

**I’ve known it for the longest time,**   
**And all my hope,**   
**All my words,**   
**are all over written on the signs.”**   
**\- Ed Sheeran ‘I’m a Mess’.**

* * *

Astoria sensed it. 

She hadn’t said anything, but she knew something was happening to him. How he retracted from her and made his excuses to avoid being intimate with her. He knew it was hurting her, but he couldn’t stop it. 

On some subconscious level, he knew that he was holding her at arm’s length to enable her to be the one to make the decision for both of them. To be the one to step away and be the better person.

Draco was certainly not the better one in all of this sorry, horrible mess. He was a liar, a cheat and his sins needed dowsing in holy water. 

She deserved better. 

Astoria deserved someone who would be unashamedly loyal to her mind, body and soul. She deserved someone who worshipped the ground that she walked on and wasn’t constantly thinking about another woman whenever they were together. Draco had thought about Hermione for years, even before all of this ... his attention had never been fully given to Astoria.

Not in the way she deserved. Draco didn’t deserve her kindness or her loyalty or her patience or any type of forgiveness that he knew she would offer after all of this. 

He deserved none of it. He would refuse all of it. She needed someone more.

Someone more than him.

But she still refused to be the one to speak first. To be the one to put the wheels in motion that would no doubt lead to a discussion and an argument and an end to their relationship. One that for all of the wrong things he had done, she always kept him happy.

Draco Malfoy was a fucking coward. 

So he left her to it, that Friday night. He didn’t even make an excuse, he just left her there in the Hallway of their shared house in Bath. He let her think what she wanted, make her own assumptions. He was far too lost in his own depraved need to be with Granger to see the tears in his girlfriend’s eyes, not bothering to look back at her as he walked through the door shutting it behind him.

* * *

She was tense that evening. It was seeming to appear that the gravity of their situation was weighing down on her. Hermione was starting to question what it was between them ... what it all meant and whether it was more.

 _More_...

The word always clung around in the air, making it thick and heavy. Neither of them could admit or commit to more; more meant that further along down the line there would be something between them that neither of them would be able to grasp at in their current lives and relationships. More meant that eventually, their feelings would come into play in a dangerous concoction of need, want and hope. 

And yet, if they left it after these two weeks ... there would always be so much unanswered between them. There would always be something there in the back of their minds, wondering ‘what if’. 

Hermione didn’t find it fair. She told him that she didn’t find it fair that there would be no real conclusion to all of this. There would be no letting go completely... and she didn’t know if she could handle that. As a practical person, she lived for conclusion. He knew the thought of this thing between them never really having one would ebb away at her.

“Yeah, but life is unfair,” He told her, his voice serious. “The sooner you realise that, the fucking better.’

“But it can still be good.” She has told him defiantly. “What we’re doing might be cruel and vicious and we might hate ourselves when it’s over ...” she was trembling as he watched her; her thoughts tumbling out of her before she could stop them. “...but it can still be good, after... without each other ... can’t it?”

Draco’s eyes flashed at her in warning. “Maybe …” he sat himself up partially on her bed. Her side of the bed ... they never fucked on Weasley’s side. “... but I think you and I both know that when this is all over, there will be scarring on both of us.” He watched her eyes as he spoke the words and saw her understand him. 

They had maimed each other beyond repair, now. Taking slices of the other that would leave a mark for the rest of their lives. There was no way that they were getting out of this unscathed.

Her shoulder sank as his words hit her. They were too involved now for this to leave anything but an Earthquake in their wake. Draco sensed her guilt and her conscience fighting within her, wanting nothing more than to take it all away from her and mix it in with his own.

Draco could take it. He’d been taking it for years. Only back then, it was only the thoughts and the idea of her ... now that he had actually had her, his own guilt about the situation was surfacing more often than not. And as always, he pushed it down ... just concentrating on the moment, being here with the one person who made him feel more than alive.

Draco held out his hand to her. “Come here.” He told her softly, seeing her eyes wash over him and taking him in. God, she was gorgeous when she was troubled.

Slowly, Hermione walked towards him, looking suddenly nervous. “I just don’t know what happens after here...” she babbled. Draco took hold of her hips gently and settled her over him until they were both sat up, her straddling his thighs. “We have a week and then that’s it ... I don’t even know if there will be a next time.”

Not until she was just a few inches from him did he respond. He reached behind her to gently grab the the bobble that held up her ponytail and in one gentle pull, he had her long, curly tresses cascading down her shoulders. 

“Do you want there to be a next time?” he responded curiously, as his heavily lidded eyes roved all over her face. “You’ve never really been vocal about what you want after this...”

“I...” she looked nervous again. 

_No, Granger ... don’t do that. Just tell me... tell me what you want ... tell me that you want me..._

“...I don’t know how I’ll be able to stop wanting you when I have to stop all of this.” She answered honestly. And he felt it in his bones.

A raw, possessive sensation rose up inside of him, and he slipped his tongue into her mouth. She had probably never received a clearer order to stop talking. 

Hermione melted into his arms as they slid from her hips to around her waist and made her completely forget there was anything she ever wanted to say. Draco wanted to make her feel as though her brain had shut down. She put her hands around his neck and met the caress of his tongue with hers. When Draco pulled away for a brief second, Hermione leaned forward blindly, eagerly searching for him again.

This felt different ... this felt ... intimate. Not just bodies and heat and sex. This felt like something deeper was trying to take hold of him. This felt like connecting.

Draco gave a soft chuckle at the realisation, and when Hermione opened her eyes and realized, they both saw a whole range of emotions staring at them in each other’s eyes. Silently telling each other something ... more.

“Show me your body, Granger. I’ve missed seeing it this week.” Immediately, she stood in front of him and started to work her way down the buttons of her shirt. She pulled my material apart, and her breasts that were clothed in a seductive black bra were exposed. 

Draco immediately leaned forwards, cupping the mounds through the material and sucking on the creamy, olive flesh. His touch seemed to set her blood on fire and a purr slipped out of her as her head fell back. 

His fingers unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans. The material slid down her legs. Her knickers followed. He reached behind her and her bra snapped open. Then he pulled back and looked at her, his eyes half-closed and full of lust. 

Her nipples hardened and he could see she grew self-conscious, because she grabbed the band of his trousers, unbuttoned his pants, and slipped her hand into his briefs.

He was already rock hard. Hermione grazed her nails through the light dusting of hair on his groin before curving her hand around his smooth solid length. It filled her hand with the evidence of his desire for her. He saw her confidence soar.

Draco watched as she dropped to her knees and began to unzip the fly of his trousers. Holding onto the edge of his trousers and briefs, Hermione pulled the soft woolen material down his thighs and he lifted his feet, helping her as she jerked them off. 

Then he watched as she lifted her gaze back to his erect cock, she couldn’t seem to look away from it. When she wrapped her hand around the thick shaft, Draco let out a small groan of approval. A quick glance upwards from her told her that he was waiting to experience what she could do to him.

This whole time so far it had been him. Draco giving and taking and building their bodies up and crashing them against the waves together, never wanting to let go of the rough pace of their bodies ... if he let go of the rough, let go of the control ... he’d be lost.

He was lost.

He watched, enthralled as she took the mushroom head into her mouth. She sucked gently on the pink crown and must have heard his breath quicken. His eyes were now shut, his head thrown slightly backwards and his hand’s half clenched into fists.

Hermione continued on. Hollowing her mouth, she pulled in as much of him as she could take until his cock hit the back of her throat. Upon retreat, she gently scraped her teeth down his silky-smooth flesh. His groan floated above her. The feeling of his cock being engulfed by her warm, wet mouth and letting her set the pace was almost euphoric to him.

Draco let his hands slip into her hair. She grabbed his shaft by the root and fisted him as her mouth sucked on him with a forceful rhythm. She must have felt him grow thicker and longer in her hands, because she moaned with him in her mouth, the vibrations causing him to growl and the thrusts of his hips grew stronger with each passing moment. 

“Fuck,” he cursed.

Hermione tilted her head to lick, kiss, and nibble along his length. His grip tightened in her hair, and the burst of pre-cum spilled into her mouth. Fuck ... she was going to have him begging in a minute. She was so fucking good. She was too fucking good for him.

_Weasley got in there first, though..._

Not good thoughts... really not good thoughts. He pushed it to the back of his mind before it started biting at his heels.

Draco thrust himself towards the back of her throat again, and she knew she had done something right. It seemed to thrill her and urged her on, his dirty curses above her head turning her on so much in return. She grabbed hold of his thighs and encouraged his rapid thrusts into her mouth.

With her tongue and lips, she worshipped and savoured his cock, her head bobbing to the sensual rhythm of his hips as he fucked her mouth. Draco held her head in place now by his hands as he chased his climax. 

“Shit, Hermione ... I can’t fucking hold it- I’m going to-“ he growled fiercely, head thrown back as she continued her delicious torture on his cock.

When he exploded into her mouth, she must have been taken aback with the force of his spurt, the release so thick and strong it filled her mouth and flowed down her throat.

“Don’t swallow,” he growled, looking back down at her. “Open your mouth and show me.”

Hermione studied his face curiously, before opening her mouth and showing how he had filled it. His hand replaced hers as he finished himself off, releasing more sprays of his orgasm into her mouth. He felt like he was barely conscious of what he was doing, his entire frame bent with his toes clenched at the sweet agony of his release.

This was him ... this was something he had fantasised about for a long time. She swallowed and he made a low, glutteral sound in the back of his throat ... she was never put off by any of the sordid shit that he did to her ... did for her ... did for himself for his own private depravity.

His breathing was hard and she seemed to love what she could do to him. He was still somehow hard, and he felt her reach forward and lick him clean, hot wet kisses lapping every bit of him up, until he was glistening with wetness from her mouth.

His eyes opened then, sparkling and full of wonder as he pulled her to her feet and dropped her into his lap. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he said. “I got a bit carried away there.” 

“I liked it...” she told him with a small smile. “I liked that you got carried away... you always seem so intent on my pleasure...you’re always so controlled in that way.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked her with a frown. What they did was animalistic and harsh, unable to fully control his level of need with her. “I’m never controlled around you. I’m like a barrel of bloody dynamite. One little spark from you and I’m off.” 

Hermione put her eyes down and fiddled with her hands in her lap and his own tightened around her waist. “Your body language just sometimes tells me that you need me just for sex.”

That’s what this was about for her though, wasn’t it? Not feelings and admittals and anyone falling for each other. He was containing himself for her. If she only fucking knew how he really felt, she’d go running for the fucking hills.

Draco cupped her chin and brought her face up to his, wanting to look right into her eyes. “My body wants to smother you and never let you come back up for air, Granger.” His nose connected with hers as he spoke low. “But my mind wants so much more than that.” 

She shuddered against him, leaning forwards until their lips almost collided. “I like that you think like that ... sometimes, I do too.” 

They were in very dangerous territory with each other now. Sex was one thing ... but sex and feelings, or sex and admittal of feelings? That was something else. Especially considering he knew of how own strong feelings for her... but he knew nothing of hers, and that kept the barrier there for them both. 

If she admitted something now, it was all going to come crashing down on them and bury them both.

She grinned at him suddenly, changing direction. She must have felt the tension building inside of him. “Did I do good today?” 

Draco laughed a little. “You were something else... but the magic was not in your technique,” he said. 

Hermione stopped to pull up his head so she could meet his gaze.

“What do you mean?” she frowned.

“I fucking exploded in your mouth,” he said. “Does that not hold all the answers?” 

“No, it doesn’t, I’m afraid. Explain it to me.” He nibbled on the tip of her nose. 

“You drive me fucking mental, Granger” he murmured. “I don’t know what it is about you, or why. Your technique wasn’t new, but I’ve never come that hard in anyone's mouth.” 

“Do you masturbate thinking of me?” she asked, biting that lip of hers yet again.

He smirked when he saw the blush on her face. “Granger, you have no fucking idea how many times I’ve got myself off to the thought of you over the years.” He felt her suck in a breath. ‘All the dirty little ways I’d imagine fucking you ... hearing you scream and moan for me ... you’re all around me.” His words seemed to really affect her. “Do you?” 

She looked up at him with the smallest of smiles. “Yes,” I admitted. “Sometimes, in school ... you’d be that one thing right at the end that I would think about ...” this time it was Draco’s breath that hitched. “You’d throw me over the edge...sometimes.”

Sometimes ... he could take sometimes. He could work with sometimes. He could pocket sometimes away and look at it properly another day, like a memory.

He growled low in his throat. He pushed her legs apart and looked down at her wet sex. “Do it now.” 

He watched, staring as her confidence grew in front of him and she brazenly began to circle her clit with her finger. Then she gave him what he wanted. He wanted to see her fucking myself. Hermione plunged her fingers into herself. With a groan, he pushed her fingers away. His mouth landed on her pussy and her back arched off the bed. 

“Fuck,” she breathed, as her knees knocked together, trapping him between her legs. 

His warm wet tongue dug into her cunt. She almost pulled off his hair as he threw her legs over his shoulders so her arse was lifted clean off the bed to give him as much access as he needed. Soon, his fingers were thrusting in and out of her with his mouth licking and sucking on the engorged bud of her sex.

Hermione writhed on the bed as though possessed as her controllable cries of pleasure were torn from her lips as he devoured her relentlessly. 

“Draco,” she gasped as her climax started. 

“I never knew you had such a dirty mind.” he said to her, as he gently licked at her core.

“I never knew I had such a dirty mouth.” she whispered, drained of energy. “I like the things you say to me ... they get me off when I’m on my own ... I think about the things you say...” 

“Fuck me, Granger ... you’re a dark horse.” He licked her clit and heard her make a throaty moan. “I could spend hours on you and it wouldn’t be enough ... can’t get enough of you...” Draco buried his head in her lap as her hand grabbed his hair. 

“Can’t ever get enough ... just need you.” She moaned and gasped. Draco was about to lose his shit.

She yelped when he travelled up her body and she felt his rock-hard dick slide into her. At first, he was careful with how tight she was, in case she wasn’t wet enough. But as soon as her body adjusted to him, he held onto her waist and rammed all the way into her. 

As he buried his face into her breasts, suckling and fondling the heavy mounds, her hips bucked with delicious pleasure and he savoured his complete possession of her body. His mind was long gone. All he could do was feel, just like her. Hermione’s fingers were clenching the sheet underneath her, meeting every thrust of his, and his cock slammed deeper and deeper into her. 

He fucked her so viciously, that at a point he believed that her spine would be permanently set in the arched position that her frame had twisted into. Her back was no longer touching the bed and his strength and virility was more than she could seem bear.

“Just like that ... Just like that,” Draco muttered, as she pushed her hips towards his thrusts. 

“Oh, God.” She breathed, unable to form a coherent sentence. Draco had completely overwhelmed her with burning red lust. 

“Open your eyes,” He rasped out. She was struggling to do it, he could sense, being so overcome with the feeling of what he was doing to her. “Open them,” he growled. 

Her eyelids opened to gaze into his eyes, darkened by lust. The bed rocked with the force of his thrusts, and the wet sound of their flesh slapping echoed around the cabin. As he chased his climax his thrusts grew harder and faster, and he thought he wouldn’t be able to contain them.

He heard and felt nothing else beyond the intensity of their desire, hips thrusting wildly into her whilst he was on top of her, sinking into her and sinking into the feeling. Letting her surround him completely as they melted into one another. He wanted to come so deeply inside her that they both saw stars, needing something more and more each time he reached the edge. 

“Look at me when you come.” He instructed her through panted breaths. “I want to know it’s only me you’re seeing when you explode around me.” He rocked into her harder, but she met him thrust for thrust. 

“Only you Draco – always only you – oh!-“ her eyes were wide as she looked into his, so much passion there ... he was lost for her. 

“Come for me, Hermione.” He rasped out. “Come for me and I’ll come so deep inside of you that I’ll fucking impregnate you.” Strong words ... but fuck in that moment, he felt so strongly for her that he fucking meant them. He needed to bury himself in her cervix.

Something inside her snapped at his words. She must have liked what he said, because her back arched further and her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

“Draco... oh god, Draco don’t stop- right there please... oh, that’s it right – Draco!” Hermione came hard.

All he could register were his hands holding hers above her head, and his fingers linked almost painfully in hers. It had become hard but so intimate ... keeping that connection and wanting nothing more than to stay like that until long after they were both spent.

Something was exploding inside of him that he could not contain. He cursed and sunk his teeth into her shoulders to muffle his cry. Hermione held onto his head desperately now, looking as though she would shatter if she didn’t.

“Hermione – Fuck!” He roared out her name as she writhed and screamed, his own orgasm quaking his body to its very core while she rode it with him into a delicious oblivion. He sunk so deeply inside of her that his come hit the spot it was meant to, on some biological level. _Fuck_... it felt so naughty. Nothing gave him greater pleasure than the thought of his seed burying himself deep inside of her. 

It was primal. It was possessive, dangerous and carnal. 

He forced his tongue into her mouth. She sucked it and wrapped her legs around his hips, refusing to let go and that was how they both came back down to earth. It was a slow descent, but the lingering effects powerful enough to render them both speechless and motionless for a long time. 

When Draco began to move to separate from her, she let him go, gasping, as his slick wet cock slid heavily out of her. He turned to his side to hide whatever the emotion was that would betray the depth of his feelings. 

Hermione didn’t allow it. She came up to his body on the bed and pulled him into her body until they were turned and she was tucked into him, her back to his front.

Draco was sure that no other place on earth would fit him more perfectly right then the steady rise and fall of his chest against the warmth of her back had completely encapsulated him … lulled him to sleep. Just before he slipped into unconsciousness however, he was sure he heard himself say; “If only you were mine, Hermione Granger.”

* * *

  
Draco found the house in darkness when he arrived back home. His footsteps echoing around the cold walls and high ceilings of the house.

Astoria was no longer in her usual spot in her Armchair by the fire, waiting for him. She was no longer looking over at him curiously, with a taint of hurt and betrayal in her eyes as she viewed him from her seat.

Instead, there was only a note left by the arm of the chair ... written in her elegant but now cold-feeling handwriting. 

She was gone.

She had left him.

And she wasn’t coming back.

He didn’t even blame her. He fully deserved it.

* * *


	4. Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of this chapter is slightly from Hermione's POV.  
> Had to do it this way to end the Chapter ... 
> 
> Thankyou for reading and all the love!  
> X
> 
> ___________________________

* * *

**“I can’t shake this feeling now,**  
**We’re going through the motions,**  
**Hoping you’d stop.**  
**And oh, I’ve only caused you pain,**  
**You know that all of my words,**  
**will always be low,**

**Of all the lies I spoke.”**

**\- Ed Sheeran 'I'm a Mess'.**

* * *

  
Draco had never done this, but he didn’t know what else to do. He hadn’t slept for nights, his mind going a mile a minute, swinging between guilt and anxiety and all manner of different emotions that seemed to erupt from him in the wake of Astoria leaving him. 

He knew it was the right thing for them, but it still left a gaping hole in his life, in his heart. She was still a part of him, and he was going to miss her dearly. Astoria was a proud lady, and he knew for a fact that when the time came, she would only tell people what they needed to know; that they just weren’t as compatible as they thought.

Draco owed her a grovelling apology and a huge amount of debt, but he knew that he would never see her again now unless they were socialising in the same circles. Astoria had a tendency to just cut people off, no questions asked if she thought they were ruining her inner peace. 

Draco fully deserved it. He deserved every bit of heartache she had brought upon him right no.

And this was why he was hurtling towards Hermione Granger’s work office, on a Wednesday lunchtime, without invite or her knowledge that he was coming. He needed to see her ... he needed ... something.

The look of surprise and shock on Hermione’s face was almost priceless when she told the knock at her door to come in. She certainly hadn’t expected him to be standing there awkwardly in her doorway. 

Draco closed the door behind him and walked into the room. He could tell she was studying him, taking in his sallow appearance and his cold, sad eyes. He shouldn’t have been troubling her with this, but he honestly had no one else he could tell ... no one else he wanted to.

“Are you okay, Draco?” she asked him, looking concerned. He loved the way his name slipped from her lips so easily now. 

He just had to come out with it. “Astoria has left me.” He told her quietly, searching her eyes for a reaction. 

She looked horrified, thinking the worst. “Oh shit ... Draco, does she –“ 

He shook his head. “She knew something was going on, but she hasn’t suspected you in any of this. Don’t worry about that.” He saw her visibly relax.

“I’m sorry, Draco.” She told him sadly, coming a little closer to him now. “I know it must be hard but-“

“It isn’t.” He cut her off, taking a step towards her. “It was for the best ... it wasn’t fair for me to string her along for the rest of her life, let her think I could make her happy when I would be too busy with my mind on someone else.” 

He saw her breath hitch, catching his meaning. “Well yes ... then I suppose that’s ....” she looked at him sadly. “... that’s for the best.” 

Draco stepped closer to her again, barely inches apart now, and he was still searching her. Trying to find something ... anything ...

“It would never have worked with Astoria, not really.,” He told her truthfully. “There would always be something... someone, in the background ... pulling my full attention away. She deserves to have someone who will treat her like the world revolves around her...” 

She bit her lip and fuck; he was dying to bite that thing for her. It was so sweetly innocent, and it fed into so many of his fantasies of her. “And-“ she stuttered, not quite able to meet his eyes. “And what about you?”

Draco inhaled a deep breath, closing the gap fully between them, now.

“My world revolves around someone else.” He closed his eyes, not ready to see her reaction, nit ready for what she would do, say or what her expression would be.

Hermione reached out and touched his hand, trying to offer him some sort of comfort from his confession and his eyes popped open, landing on hers. They were fiery and soft all at once, filled with confusion and innocence. For herself... for his situation. Neither of them knew how to handle this.

“Fuck,” He whispered, feeling his resolve crumble. He didn’t care that it was the middle of the day. He didn’t care if he was in the middle of her office. He didn’t care that the door wasn’t locked and that there were no silencing charms on the room.

Draco reached for her, knowing that the only way he was going to stop the world from falling away from underneath him was to cling on to her now, in this very moment, and not let go for anything.  
His hands found her hips and pulled her flush against him. In the same instant, he stepped toward her, his lips landing on hers as they stumbled backward. With his left hand on her lower back, he stretched the other one out behind her, catching them as they stumbled back and hit the office back wall. 

Draco kissed her hard and deep, letting himself get carried away by her sweet taste, her heavenly scent, her soft skin that felt like fucking silk. At first, she’s frozen and doesn’t respond, but when his tongue demanded entrance, she loosened up. Her body moulded to his as her arms wrap around his neck. Her responding to his touch made his body feel like it had been set on fire, and he picked her up against him, where she wrapped her legs around his hips. 

Their kiss was hard and fast, but not rushed, just needed. His hands wanted to touch every inch of her body, but all they seemed to do was make their way from her hips to her face, where he cupped her cheeks and held her against his in fear of her pulling away. He didn’t want her to pull away. He wanted her to need this as badly as he did. 

Her hands began to slide down his chest, and he held his breath, waiting for her to push him away, but to his surprise, her fingers grabbed the bottom of his shirt and she pulled it upward.

“Door...” she muttered quietly, more to herself than him. “Lock, needs silencing ...” she quickly shoved his shirt off the rest of the way as she spoke. 

“No.” He told her in a rough voice. “Keep it unlocked ... no charms ... let’s see how quiet you can be...” he swallowed her moans into his own mouth to mingle with his own.

This time, her hands were cupping his face while she took the kiss deeper. Inside, he wanted to cheer because she wasn’t stopping him from taking what he wanted, but he was so lost in the moment that he couldn’t think of anything but how badly he needed to slide inside her.

Draco forced away all thoughts and decided to live in the moment; they’d deal with the repercussions later. His hands began to push her shirt up her stomach, but she quickly reached for it, tearing it off and tossing it into the floor. They were both breathing heavy, their chests moving up and down quickly.

Draco pulled back slightly and looked into her big brown eyes. They were glassy and sparkling, her lips red, swollen, and parted. She looked fucking incredible, and just seeing her this way had him nearly busting the seam in his trousers.

Draco closed the space between their mouths once again, placing his hands under her arse to support her weight as he walked them to the desk, sitting Hermione on top of it. He worked his way down her body, pressing kisses to her jaw, neck, and down her chest while his hands got busy stripping her of her bra.

He tossed the fabric to the floor and pulled back to look over her gorgeous breast. Looking at them never got old. They were modest and full, but they fell naturally... they were perfect. Draco licked his lips with a slight grin as he lowered his mouth to her hard nipple, sucking it into his needy mouth.  
Hermione let out a deep moan the moment his tongue flicked against it.

Her fingers threaded into his hair, pulling at the root but pushing his head against her like she never wanted him to stop. Draco’s hands massaged her tits while his mouth moved back and forth between them. 

The whole time, she was breathing heavy and whimpering, making sounds that shot straight to his painfully hard dick. She must feel it twitch against her because her hands moved to his waist, where she started unbuttoning his pants and working them down his hips. 

Draco growled and lifted her thighs around her hips again until he had lowered them onto the floor behind her desk; out of sight to anyone who would momentarily walk past. He liked danger ... but he wasn’t fucking stupid.

Draco caught her hands in his and pinned them up above her head, looking into her eyes. “I’m in charge. I’ve been thinking about this again far more than I should, and I have to get you out of my system,” He told her, lying to them both.

Releasing her wrists, Draco decided to strip her of the rest of her clothing. Even though he was no longer holding her hands down, she left them right where he wanted them. 

“Don’t move,” he demanded as he pulled her skirt down her legs, leaving her pink, lacy knickers in place. Draco tossed her skirt onto the floor and positioned himself between her long, olive, shapely legs. He bent down, pressing a soft kiss to her stomach, next to her belly button.

His hands slid under her arse, squeezing and massaging as he kissed his way lower. Draco gently nipped the skin covering her hip bone, and she let out a whimper. He kissed his way down her inner thigh, along the line of her knickers. Draco inhaled deeply, enjoying her sweet scent.

“Malfoy, please do something. I’m about to explode,” she said around heavy breaths.

Too impatient to remove himself from her to pull down her knickers, Draco moved them to the side and ran his tongue between her folds. She let out a deep breath, and her body seemed to crumble, her knees closing around his head.

He could hear the way she was breathing loud and heavy but having his head between her legs was more pleasurable to him than she could imagine.

Draco sucked her hard nub into his mouth and flicked his tongue against it over and over until she started calling out his name in low repetitions. When he slid his finger inside her, her hands fisted the carpet.

“Draco –Oh fuck yes, I’m coming-“ she spasmed around his finger and his tongue, causing him to look up at her and realize that she still hadn’t moved her arms from above her head.

That pleased him no end. Draco like a woman that could take orders in the bedroom. When her release ended, her muscles eased and her whimpers quietened, but her breathing was still out of control. 

Draco shimmied his pants down and manages to kick them off. Hermione kept her eyes locked on his as he finally pulled her knickers down her thighs. She bit her bottom lip as he lowered his body back onto hers, and he cupped her cheek once more as he kissed her soft and slow, taking them both by surprise. 

He was so wound up that he could explode at any minute. He needed to slow down, regain control over himself. Draco feel her knees shaking on either side of him, and it reminded him of how much she needed him. Using one hand, he positioned himself at her entrance. 

Hermione was about to whisper a contraceptive charm; something she hadn’t tried to do before with him. Maybe it was the surroundings... having to be on her guard.

Draco put a hand over her mouth and gave her a wolfish grin. “Don’t, Granger ... live dangerously.” He whispered to her and heard her moan. 

“It’s almost my fertile days.” She mumbled at him through his hand.

With a roll of his hips, he was sliding deep inside of her, causing them both to let out a relieved breath. “Even better.” He panted, and watched her eyes roll into the back of her head, accepting his complete possession over her.

She was so hot and so tight around him; he knew he could come at any second. It took him a moment to regain his composure. When he was completely inside her and could go no further, he rocked his hips against hers, making her call out. Slowly, he withdrew himself, only to thrust back inside.

Draco’s heart was pounding, and his breathing was rushed. He had no choice but to break their kiss so he could maintain consciousness. 

“Fuck, Hermione...” he whispered, moving in and out of her. Her hands were on his biceps, squeezing as he continued to thrust inside her. 

“Draco...” she whispered his name, and the sound leaving her lips was life-changing. He needed that. Needed to hear her say it like he was her lover ... like her one and only.

He quickly pulled out of her and flipped her over. She got onto her knees and bent down before him. All Draco could see was her firm arse as he used his hand to spread her wetness down between her folds. 

Slowly, he rose and entered her from behind. With the position change, she felt even tighter around him. Draco reared back and thrust inside so deep his hipbones dug into her arse. His balls slapped off of her skin, and they both call out. 

“Shhhhh, love.” He told her between thrusts. “People will hear...” he was grinning wickedly to himself.

Based on the way she was moaning into the carpet, he knew that move felt far too good to the both of them, so he repeated the process again and again, causing their knees to scratch across the carpet painfully, but neither cared. He could hear his own heartbeat, their quiet moans, the slapping of their skin, and the movement of the carpet beneath them, and he was gone, completely lost and unable to think about how wrong it was.

“Yes, Granger ... fuck – keep pushing back ... feels so good...”

It felt too good to be wrong. It felt right, like she was made specifically for him. The way their bodies connected; it was like puzzle pieces. He’d connected with many pieces over the years, but none of them fit quite as perfect as she did. 

“Draco ... please ... I can’t take it-“ she cried as he felt her walls flutter around him. Her orgasm took over as she convulsed underneath him.

“Oh, fuck....” He felt her muscles squeeze his dick, like she was milking it for every drop. Finally, he couldn’t hold back any longer, and he let his release go.

“Hermione – oh, shit...” It was so strong that his whole body went completely numb. Draco’s muscles seized and locked up, and he couldn’t breathe or do anything until every drop had left his body, pouring into hers.

Draco’s hips began twitching against her, finishing as he floated back down into his body. He pulled out of her, and she collapsed onto her stomach. He threw himself down on to the red, musty carpet beside her. They both stayed completely still, letting their hearts calm and their breathing even out.

Before he can even move, the guilt of what he had just done under the circumstances was crippling him. Draco closed his eyes, trying to push the thought away, but all he could see was the look of heartbreak on Astoria’s face. 

He tried to think of an excuse: she seduced him, wanted him, wouldn’t let him take no for an answer. Neither sounds good enough to excuse what he had done in the last few moments. 

But then, he needed this. And he needed her so possessively, and she was so pliant and let him have her in any way he wanted, without question ... she always bent to his whim. If Astoria was gone then he would have to live with that ... build his life back from the bottom up. 

Impulsive as ever, an idea occurred to him. One that wouldn’t go away.

“Come to my house on Friday, Hermione?” he asked her in a quiet voice, turning his head towards hers and looking in her placid, brown eyes. “Come to me, spend the night...” he trailed off and reached down to touch his finger tips to hers. 

She said nothing. She just gave him a nod and a very small, comforting smile.

No ... he didn’t think there would ever be an excuse for cheating on another person ... especially when you cheated on them with someone you had fallen possessively in love with. 

* * *

  
The following Friday, Hermione met Draco at his house instead. With the promise of closing down the Floo Network to the fireplace and placing wards on the house so they would not be disturbed, Hermione had agreed, like she always did.

She looked around tentatively, studying the kitchen thoughtfully. He knew what she was thinking; everything in the room had been sourced and bought by Astoria ... with his money, of course. But how odd it must be for a woman to view a house, knowing that every personal object inside of it had been bought by a woman that her lover had chosen as a spouse.

Well... almost. Draco really tried not to think about that.

“This is a huge place, Draco.” She told him as he poured them a wine in the kitchen. For some reason, he thought she was expecting to find minimalist furniture in tones of black and grey.

Cold and lacking in personality. Draco’s apartment brimmed with life. “I like my space.” He nodded into the corridor, before moving into another room. Make yourself comfortable.” 

She sat on the couch. The smooth leather moulded to her skin, and Draco watched her enjoy the cool feeling. She closed her eyes, stretching her neck.

Draco couldn’t help it. As he stood behind her, his warm hands touched the back of her neck. She opened her eyes, peering sideways. Draco stood behind the couch, watching her.

“You’re tense,” he whispered.

“I need a massage...” she told him absentmindedly. “...I usually get one once a week from Madame Ferrouk’s, but she’s been on holiday the past few weeks so I’ve had to go without.”

Draco traced his fingers along her neck, pressing on a few of the tense spots. She gave out a little moan, and his sexual instincts automatically kicked in.

“I know what you need...” He pressed his fingers further into her skin and she let out another moan. “Don’t do that, or I’ll lose what little self-control I have” he told her in a very low, thick voice.

“Then don’t touch me like this...” He dropped his hands, leaving her with a sense of loss.

She shifted on the sofa, and he felt her following him with her gaze as he fetched the glasses of wine. Handing her a glass, he sat down next to her.

What was he doing? This woman would make him fall completely and lose himself. He couldn’t afford that; but sweet Jesus, he needed it badly.

If there was a woman, he would allow to take over him so completely, it’s her.

“You’re quiet,” he said, bringing himself back out of himself.

“Enjoying the wine.” She told him quietly as he slid closer to her on the couch.

“I’ve been thinking about you since Wednesday...” He told her honestly, wishing it hadn’t come out of his mouth. “I can’t stay away from you ... I don’t think I can..” Fuck ... too much ... too, too much ...

“I don’t want you to stay away, not right now.” She said in almost a whisper, biting her lip and driving him absolutely fucking insane. “I’ve been thinking about you since you left my office ... I want you, while I can still have you ...” she looked at his lips and he almost growled with need.

“There’s no limits on my time now, Granger...” He said, dangerously low as he set his glass on the coffee table, and Hermione did the same with hers. “Only yours...”

Hermione looked at his lips. “No more talking.”

Draco covered her mouth with his, but his kiss wasn’t as urgent as the one in her office. 

He took his time, exploring her mouth, tasting her lips as if they were the most exquisite things in the world. He pulled her closer to him, and she instinctively climbed into his lap. 

Draco dragged his lips from her mouth down to her neck. She leaned back, giving him better access, and her arm touched something behind her. 

A noise followed, a thump. Belatedly, Draco realized it was the sound of their wine glasses crashing to the floor. 

“The wine—your carpet.” She said, mortified as she pulled herself out of the kiss.

“Fuck the carpet,” he told her with a shrug, and went back to kissing her neck. “I’ll buy a new one.”

“Oh, to be that rich...” Hermione undid the buttons of his shirt hurriedly, apparently enjoying the feel of his lean muscles beneath her fingers. He discarded her dress, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth while busying his fingers with her bra. He unclasped it, freeing her breasts, as she got rid of his shirt altogether. 

They paused for a few moments, drinking each other’s bodies in, as usual.

“You are so beautiful, Granger.” He dragged his thumbs across her nipples, flicking them tenderly, until they turned to hard nubs. He bent his head low and took one in his mouth, and then the other.

“Draco ... feels good ...don’t stop ...”

“I’m far from done.” he whispered against her skin. When he hoisted her up, Hermione hitched her legs around his waist, kissing him hungrily. She was wearing nothing but a thong now, while he was still in his pants.

Just how he liked it .... the control of it all.

Her throbbing, hot core pushed against his waistband as he crossed to the hallway, holding her up against him all the way. The friction deepened her need for him. He came to a halt, before apparating them both to his bedroom, switching the light on with his elbow. Hermione barely had time to take in her surroundings before he lay her on the bed, and then there was nothing but him for her, seeing it right there ... that look of complete hunger on her face.

“I like that look in your eyes.” He smiled, peering at her. “The amount of times I’ve pictured you lying on my bed, waiting for me to fuck you... Jesus Christ, I feel like I’m going to lose my shit just looking at you there now.”

She looked flushed at his admission, blushing lightly. “What look?” she asked, going back to his first statement.

“The one that says I’m your whole fucking world right now.” He said bravely, knowing she wasn’t expecting that answer. And he knew what she was thinking; How can he read me this well? He’d been reading her for years ... she just never knew it.

His watchful gaze seemed to melt her fears. His eyes were hooded with desire, yes, but also so much more. And then, he knew that she really trusted him. 

“It’s true,” she admitted in a small voice. “Right here, right now... you are.” 

Another moment to lock away and memorise another time ... he had a collection of them now, to look back on when this was over and he would no longer be able to feel her touch.

Draco wasted no time after that. In the blink of an eye, he was naked and proceeded to remove her last item of clothing. He positioned his hands at her hips, tugging her thong down her legs. 

Finally, he tossed it somewhere in the room. Hermione pushed myself up on to her elbows, watching him watch her. His gaze travelled along her bare skin. She could tell that Draco absolutely fucking worshipped her body—every single part of it. After caressing her with his gaze, he proceeded to torment her with his lips. They left a trail of fire on every spot he kissed on her body. 

“I love your skin...” He made his way up her neck, pulling with his teeth at her earlobe. His large hands roamed over her hips, one of them settling between her legs. He pushed his fingers against each of her folds, igniting her pulsing core.

“Draco...” 

“So wet, already,” he murmured against her ear.

“I want you...” he heard her moan breathlessly.

“Be patient. It’s all in the foreplay...” His voice was too calm, too composed.

Narrowing her eyes, Hermione wrapped her palm around his hard shaft, pumping up and down, relishing the sight of him losing control. A deep groan reverberated from his chest, and he tossed his head back, unable to control himself. Hermione dragged her lips across his exposed neck.

“Patience doesn’t sound so appealing, now, does it?” she teased, purring in his ear.

The next second, Draco grabbed both of her hands, pinning them against the bed above her head. He felt the breath whoosh out of her as he brought his face so close that there are only a few inches between them. The air crackled with tension.

Gulping, Hermione licked her lips at the delicious promise in his eyes. He kept her hands together, his free hand roaming over her breasts. Her puckered nipples almost hurt from being so turned on. He circled them with his thumb, avoiding her nubs.

“Fuck...” she moaned. Yes... he knew how to drive a woman crazy.

He dropped his hand between her legs, dipping a finger right into her core. Hermione gasped, arching her back, pushing herself into his finger. He retreated quickly.

“Don’t.” She almost begged him

“Don’t what?” He smiled, and he knew she could feel it against her ear.

Yes ... he was a bastard.

“Don’t take your finger away.” Hermione answered him, and he touched her again, this time caressing her clit. 

His fingers circled it until she was panting underneath him. Licking her lips, she looked up pleadingly at him from between her lashes. God ... she was fucking glorious.

Draco kissed her hard, his mouth greedy over overs. And she must have thought that was it ... This was it, he would take her now. Wrong.

He pulled back and flipped her onto her tummy. I Draco came to lounge on top of her, his hard chest pressing against her back as he kissed her neck, intertwining his fingers with hers. Hermione pushed her arse iUp into him, and he nearly fucking lost it.

“Fuck, Granger, do you want me to lose all my self-control?” he growled into her ear, feeling her shudder at his words.

“That’s what I want...” he could tell she was so turned on that he was surprised she could utter words at all. Every inch of the bodies was alive with the need for each other. 

“Tell me exactly what you want,” he whispered, making the hair at her nape stand on end, he noticed.

“I want you inside me right now...” she said quietly

“Granger...” He let out a deep groan, moving off her. 

Draco left her body momentarily to grab a pillow, then used it to push it under her belly, lifting her arse up. He then positioned himself at her entrance.

He felt her thighs quivering. When he pushed inside, her whole body trembled.

“Oh.” Draco heard her breathe in and out, succumbing to his delicious torture. Because torture was the right word. 

Draco entered her with exquisite slowness. Inch by inch he filled her up, spreading her legs wider. Finally, he stopped pushing inside of her, bottoming out and feeling her hot, silk walls licking at him.

“How does that feel?” he licked his lips, his voice husky.

“Better than anything...” He thrust inside of her completely then, hearing her cry out, fisting the bedsheet.

“Hermione...,” he gritted his teeth. His hands cupped her arse cheeks. He started moving, and his whole world spun on its axis.

Each movement lead to an explosion of sensations, starting in her core and lighting the nerve endings in her entire body up to her fingertips. With each stroke, he claimed a more intimate part of her.

His lips trailed on her back, the gentleness forming a stark contrast to the crushing rhythm of his hips. Draco’s forearms were at her sides. He was slowly coming undone. He knew she could tell by the way that his nails dig into the mattress. This recognition ignites something deep inside of her. Draco could feel her sex twinge as he felt drops of sweat falling onto his back. 

“I want you to come with me, Hermione.” He all but grunted out her name.

Hermione almost come because of that sound alone, but then Draco was propping himself on one forearm only, and he slipped his free hand between the pillow and her, circling her clit. She lost it. Hermione pinched her eyes closed, stars erupting behind them.

“Shit– Draco ... right there- I’m-“

“I want to hear my name again – say it, Hermione.” His voice is trembled. “Say it and you’ll make me come...” he thrust hard and fast, making her whimper. “Deep inside of you ... so fucking deep, Hermione...”

“Draco....” she gasped as the orgasm took hold of her.

Draco succumbed to it, every nerve singing with pleasure and need, the sensations intensifying when he heard Hermione’s cry of relief and felt him shoot his hot seed deep inside of her. He dropped on top of her, careful not to crush her. He laced his fingers with hers, squeezing lightly as he whispered; 

“You are an amazing woman, Hermione Granger.” 

And in that moment, he knew that she was lost too.

* * *

  
Hermione awoke sometime in the night and Draco was still holding her close. Only now, her back was to his chest. His arm was still under my head, and the other was wrapped around her waist. His hand was only inches away from her clit. Just knowing that they were together, and naked, spending the night together and his hand almost touching me, had her fired up again.

Hermione tried scooting closer to him as she wiggled her arse against his groin. To her surprise, his cock twitched against her. His left hand flattened out against her stomach, and she felt a sigh leave her lips, thinking what a shame it was that his hand had moved further away.

But then slowly, it started moving downward. It glided down her stomach, across her hip, and to her thigh. Softly, he picked her thigh up and pulled it backward, so it was dangling over his legs, leaving her wide open. Then his hand moved between her hip bones and down to her clit.

“Oh ...” she moaned breathlessly at his touch.

“Granger...” he breathed into her ear, sleepily. “Can’t get enough ... love it ...”. 

Hermione’s whole-body twitched when his fingers slid between her folds. His hand worked her over before he slid into her from behind, slowly.

“So wet..” he hissed. “You feel amazing ...tight ... won’t last...”

Draco’s hips bucked up into her while his hand kept moving against her clit. The arm that was beneath her head moved down to her neck so he could massage her breast while he filled her.

“Yes... Draco... please...” she whimpered. She knew he loved hearing his name on her lips. He was getting her so close; she was tightly wound.

Just as her release was about toexplode over her, his did too, and just like always, he doesn’t want to pull out of her.

“Deep inside me, Draco ... I want to feel you...” she told him as she shuddered around him, her orgasm taking over in waves, her walls clenching around him. 

“Fuck – Hermione – right there-“ He kept thrusting into her, and she felt the exact moment when his seed rushed out of him and into her.

His hips slowed, his breathing slowed, and he relaxed behind her again, wrapping her in his arms and holding her close.

“Why do you like doing that so much?” she asked him breathlessly. “Is it the danger?” she was referring to him not using protection.

Draco was quiet for a moment behind her, still half asleep and now full of orgasmic bliss, too. 

“Feels good...” He whispered sleepily into her ear. “Like the thought that I could get you pregnant ... gets me off, the thought of you letting me come inside you... wanting me to come inside you ...” 

Hermione pondered for a minute. “Is that your ‘thing’? Are you like that with every woman you’re with?” 

She felt him shake his head and hold her tighter, his breathing was evening out as sleep was claiming him again. “No... just you.” He rasped. “Only you ... love coming inside you ... feels right ...”

Hermione needed to ask. She needed to know. 

“Why?” she whispered, relaxing into her embrace.

His breathing hitched as he drifted off.

“Because ... Love you...” 

It was quieter than a whisper as sleep finally claimed him.

Draco didn’t feel Hermione clasp his hand tighter.

And he didn’t hear her as she cried herself to sleep.

* * *


	5. Intertwined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last one ;-) 
> 
> The next (and last) part of the series will be here as soon as I've worked through the details!
> 
> For now, enjoy!  
> X

* * *

**"And for how long,**  
**I love my lover...”**  
**-Ed Sheeran ‘I’m a Mess’.**

* * *

  
She was too fucking much for him to resist. Draco kept pushing her, and she kept taking it. She was just as fucked up as he was. Each time, he took things one step further, thinking that would be her breaking point, but she took it all and asked him for more. She was going to be the death of him.

Draco was either going to fuck her until he died from exhaustion, or Weasley was going to find out and kill him. Either way, it was all going to be because of her. He had never in his life spent the entire weekend locked away in his room having sex with the same girl over and over, but that’s exactly what they did, from that Friday night until Sunday morning.

They fucked, stopped long enough to rest, and then started again. Only ever leaving the room to get food, drinks, or to use the bathroom. They slept, woke up, and then did it all again. 

Draco knew she had to be sore by now because every muscle in his body was throbbing, but even then, he couldn’t fucking stop. She was nowhere on his radar a few weeks ago, thinking he would never get the opportunity... and now he couldn’t bring himself to pull out of her. Every drop of himself pouring into her.

She controlled his mind and body. If she was near, he couldn’t stop touching her, kissing her. Even when they slept, they were touching. That weekend was going down in the books as the weekend that Draco officially lost himself. The weekend when his life changed.

Sunday morning rolled around, and they were both so sore they could barely move. They had a quick breakfast in bed, then cuddled up to go back to sleep. When they woke, they finally had to pull apart. They both got dressed, and even though they were happy about the way they spent the weekend, they were both a little sad to be leaving the world they had created: a world where it was just them and nobody else.

Hermione looked at him from over her shoulder as she fastened her shoe. “Will you come to me tonight?” she asked him as he leant down and placed a kiss on her shoulder. 

  
“Bloody hell, Granger ... are you trying to kill me off?” he asked her with a smile. “I mean, I’ve got the stamina but ... you’re insatiable.” He drew her up into his arms for a long, passionate kiss. 

Draco felt Hermione melt into his arms; something she had done so many times during this weekend. It was like she had given herself to him completely and stopped holding back. He had been so close over the course of the weekend to just blurting his feelings out to her, getting them out into the open. 

He hadn’t of course... but he still couldn’t put his finger on where her openness had come from suddenly. He wanted to question it, but felt if he did then she would shut him off, just as he was starting to make progress outside of their physical attraction.

Draco was dying to own her mind. He needed that so badly ... to consume her as completely as she did him. To make her think of nothing else ... he was so selfish but he didn’t care. He just wanted her. He wanted her to want him. 

It was burning him alive. 

Hermione pulled back from the kiss with a sigh. “We need to talk ...” she put her eyes down, not looking at him. “Tonight, might be our last chance...” 

Draco felt like a bucket of ice water had been thrown in his face. 

This was it. The time he had been pushing to the back of his mind for the past two weeks; 

Today was their last.

* * *

At 7.30pm that evening Draco flooed himself into Hermione Grangers small flat for the last time. She was already waiting for him, stood in the middle of the room, playing with her fingers nervously. 

They didn’t need that, not now. He wanted to savour every moment with her if this was to be their last. He wanted to see her smile and hear her laugh. He wanted to see her eyes light up and her cheeks flush. He wanted conversation and banter ... he just wanted her.

“He comes back tomorrow.” She told him, biting her lip.

That lip was his. That would always be his lip. The one that brought him so many sordid thoughts and pent up tension. That lip was part of his fevered day dreams and always had been. 

“Then we make tonight count.” He told her, walking up to her and taking her body in his. “Because if I can’t have you after this, then I want to remember every single part of you.”

Her eyes held so much warmth, he couldn’t stand it. He almost wanted to believe that she felt the same way that he did, but he knew there was no way that she was going to leave Weasley. Astoria had given him an easy way out ... a coward’s way out. Hermione Granger was no coward. She would see her relationship through with Ron Weasley until the bitter end, because she wasn’t a quitter. That’s just who she was.

So this was it. After this, her touch would only be a memory. He suddenly wished that he had stopped to savour the moments enough ... not been so lost in her and their passion for each other that he hadn’t slowed down the tempo to take in the tiny details.

Like the gleam in her eyes and the expression on her face when he entered her for the first time. The way she said his name, like it was the most important thing in the world. The way her hair would fall down her neck and back as she moved towards him. The way her nose brushed against his playfully when she cupped his face.

All those little things ... they were little, until they were taken away. And now he craved to see them... just one more time. Watch her come undone for him. Savour the view and pocket the memories away for another day.

He wanted to be devoured by her presence. One more time.

Draco’s head moved forwards and his lips moved softly with hers for several long moments before his tongue demanded entrance. His eyes fluttered closed, enjoying the way she stirred the emotions inside of his body. It felt like everything was going numb and began to tingle to the point of tickling.

Every nerve ending lit up and burned bright. Hermione was holding on tight around his neck, and when she jumped up against him, and he caught her with two hands on her arse. Without her having to ask or be told, he walked them into her bedroom without putting her down and lowered them to the bed. Draco caught her smiling to herself as he kissed his way down her body.

His hips were grinding against her already, and neither of them had lost their clothes yet. His strong hands massaged her body as his lips kissed lower, pushing and pulling clothing out of the way.

When he ripped off her jeans, he slid two fingers inside of her, and his tongue flicked against her aching clit. Hermione’s eyes fluttered closed at the same time that her lips parted with a heavy gasp.

_Remember that gasp ... the flutter of her eyelashes ...._

Draco moaned as her hips began lifting on their own, moving back and forth with his tongue. He never wanted to separate. He needed to be right where he was for the rest of his life. When Hermione’s release began to build, he pulled away, leaving her hanging.

“Draco ...,” she cried out as he moved back up her body.

 _Remember the way she says your name_ ...

He grinned. “What’s the matter, Granger?” he asked, sliding deep inside of her, filling every last inch.

 _Remember the way her silk feels around you_ ...

She no longer complained. Her head fell back against the pillows as her eyes closed. His mouth found hers just as he began to thrust in and out of her. God, he fucking loved the way he filled her completely. 

_Remember how perfect she is for you ..._

It was like his body was made to fit hers. It was like they were made to be a couple. He knew every spot to touch, every place to caress. Draco never thought they made much sense, but now, he couldn’t see himself with any other woman. Hermione Granger was it for him.

  
_Remember how you feel right now ... remember that when you have nothing left ..._

Draco knew they should have made this quiet and quick, in case Weasley decided to make an early return, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to take their time, feel every touch, every emotion that they caused one another to feel. He wanted to feel like he was being pushed to the edge of the earth, nearly ready to fall, only to be pulled back again.

He wanted that process repeated and repeated until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He wanted to feel like a tornado was wreaking havoc on his body. Like he never knew which direction it was going to go, which path it was going to take. 

Draco loved the way she kept him on his toes, never knowing what move she was going to make or what he was going to say. 

“You’re so fucking perfect, Granger,” he whispered against her skin. “God, just sliding into you makes me want to come undone.” He thrust inside of her again, this time deeper. 

_Remember the look on her face ... how she unravels for you ..._

Hermione called out, causing him to repeat the move; this time, he rocked his hips when he could go no further. Her body tightened and prepared for her release.

“Draco, I’m going to come-” Hermione cried out quietly into his shoulder. 

He didn’t stop. “Come for me, Hermione.... I want to feel you come all around me ... fuck...” he whispered, turning his head into her neck in return, getting as close to her as he could and surrounding himself with the scent of her. 

_Remember her smell ... never forget her smell ..._

Her nails dug into his back, and she opened her mouth to let out the moan that’s dying to escape, but he pressed his mouth to hers, causing her to whimper into his mouth. 

_Remember her passion ... it’s ripping her apart ..._

“Fuck,” he moaned quickly just as his release built and broke free, spilling into her.

His hips stilled slowly, and he rested his head against her chest. “Your heart is pounding like fucking mad, Granger.” he told her in a raspy breath.

 _Remember how her heart beats for you .._.

Hermione giggled. “It’s all for you.”

_Fuck. She shouldn’t say things like that ... it will never be for me ..._

Draco’s heart splintered.

He lifted his head and looked deeply into her eyes, still deep inside of her. “Don’t do this, Hermione.” He asked her in a quiet, solemn voice. He knew he was going to ruin the moment but fuck, the idea of never doing this again ... it cut him like a knife. “Don’t cut this off ... this is more than just our bodies connecting, and you know it.” 

He regretted it as soon as he saw the tears in her eyes. Shit ... he’d only been thinking of himself in this and his own needs. He hadn’t even stopped to think about her and how it was affecting her and how she was living with all of this. 

This thing between them wasn’t as simple as just him and her and being happy together. It was a whole fucking mess up of adult shit that came with them having to live in the real world with their real-world decisions and making those decisions based on practicality, honesty and sense. 

He already knew he was asking her to do the impossible, and it left a gaping hole in his heart, where he knew it could never happen. 

But he had hoped ... and hope was fickle. Hope burned and pulled him into it’d fiery depths before spitting him back out and leaving him like ... like this.

Broken. Again. 

“It’s too much...” he heard her sob into his chest from underneath him. Draco rolled off from on top of her, cradling her to him on her bed.

Holding her so close to him that he almost felt the sadness and pain emanating from her bones and working their way into his. Sharing their pain together ... the raw emotion of separating from something that was never meant to be in the first place. 

“Shhh ... I’m sorry, Hermione... I’m just selfish.” He whispered into her. Hair as her shoulders racked with sobs. He felt fucking awful for asking her to make that sort of sacrifice. He knew this was one-sided. He was just a selfish bastard who couldn’t give her up. “...I just wanted to keep you for myself...” he admitted in a low voice, kissing the top of her head.

She looked up at him and his heart broke. “You were right, what you said...” she told him softly, wiping a tear from her eye. “It does burn.”

He knew perfectly well what she meant, without her needing to explain herself further. They would always burn. They would burn forever. 

He didn’t say anything, he just gave her a soft kiss. Then she laid her head back against his chest so she could hear his heart shattering into a thousand pieces, all for her.

* * *

**Seven Weeks Later**

Draco Malfoy knew he was a fucked-up person.

The only time he was feeling was when he was hurting. He was fucking trying, but he was finding it hard to move on. It was like her eyes had been designed just to cut through him, when he saw her at the lifts in the Atrium, as he had done so many times. And he knew that she knew that ... he just needed to own it. Own the misery and the pity and the pain. 

He couldn’t take the way she looked at him. Like she needed to tell him so much more than her eyes did. Like she wanted to reach out to him and unfreeze his heart... _burn_ it.

In some masochistic way, he hoped that she was hating all of the parts she liked about him. He hoped that she wanted to pull him into her arms, but know he was out of reach. He wanted her to be going out of her mind with raw need and for him, in the same way that he was for her.

He wanted her to burn in it. He wanted her to feel the chemicals set fire to her bloodstream and engulf her in the heat, just like him.

Because it burned. It burned so badly and he couldn’t take it. Couldn’t stand to see her looking at him. Couldn’t stand knowing that he would never feel her skin or breath in her scent again. 

It was a physical loss and a mental loss. His whole body quaked under the pressure of it. 

But he had to get on with it. Chest out, chin up ... fuck the world. 

And it got easier. A little. Slightly more bearable. The ache was there, but he could try and ignore it ... pretend he didn’t notice. 

Drink helped.

Drink always helped.

And drink helped until one Thursday evening, when an Owl appeared at his living room window, pecking to be let in.

It was a letter. 

A letter from her. 

She needed to see him.

It made some of his broken pieces start to fit back together at the thought.

* * *

  
She sat there twiddling her thumbs on the table. He noticed that she hadn’t looked at him yet since he had sat down. 

She had managed to save their spot in that dark, secretive corner of The Leaky Cauldron. The one that held so many different memories for him now.

He had sat down opposite her, intent on letting her be the one to talk. So far, she had only managed to look up at him twice, looking cagey and unsure both times.

Draco sighed. 

_Well ... if the mountain won’t come to Mohammad ..._

“How are you?” he asked her in a small voice, sipping on his whiskey.

Hermione glanced up at him, her eyes hooded. “I’m good... how are you?” she replied, her voice quiet and slightly timid.

Draco snorted. “Fucking awful, since you ask.” 

She winced.

 _Good_. 

It was her fault. If she was selfish like him then they wouldn’t be here now, having this conversation at all. They’d be back at his house, doing all manner of ungodly things to each other. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have –“ she went to stand, but Draco caught her hands and pulled her back down to the table. 

“You’ve brought me here for a reason ...” he told her seriously as he looked her dead in the eye. “It’s been weeks and all I’ve had is silence.” He squeezed her hands with his. “Don’t continue to hurt me, Granger ... just tell me ... whip the plaster off the wound and give it to me straight.” 

She was engaged.

She was moving away.

She was regretting what they did...

_Or_ ... 

She wanted him back. 

She was leaving Weasley.

She needed him....

“I’m pregnant.” She whispered, looking him dead in the eyes.

Now, they really were burning together.

* * *

To Be Continued ... 


End file.
